Submission in Christ: Ephesians 5:21-6:9

“...submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.” 

We have a tricky relationship with the word “submit.” It brings to mind groveling servants or oppressive tyrants using their authority to strip us of our dignity.  In my anxious people-pleasing brain, the command to submit to others sometimes seems like a call to inaction, to stand still and allow everyone around me to make the decisions and get their needs met.  Or I fear getting taken advantage of, that in submitting I am leaving myself open to people walking all over me.

But if Paul is talking to believers here, he is speaking to those who have already committed themselves to Christ and are trying to honor Him in their lifestyles.  The act of submission is meant to be mutual, both people striving to sacrifice their own self interests and become a little more like Jesus in the process.  

I am not being asked to do anything Christ hasn’t already done.  Any of my attempts to submit to others will be a pale imitation of Jesus in anguish sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane as he contemplated the agony waiting for him on the cross. When I remember the physical and emotional torture he endured, I am embarassed that my pride gets in the way of small sacrifices I could make in my life to love others better.  How can I refuse to sacrifice some of my time or energy or comfort when Christ has already sacrificed his very life for me?

The relationships Paul zooms in on during the passage are some of the most significant in our lives–spouses, children, employers.  Something they have in common is that they are built up over time, shaped not by one decision but an accumulation of daily interactions.  A dear friend once told me that anyone can make a dazzling first impression, but the reputation you build over time is usually the one you deserve.  Submitting to others  isn’t a single decision, but a choice made over and over each day to sacrifice my desire to put myself first. 

God showed His love for us in the ultimate way–on the cross.  But He also reveals it daily in ways as simple as each breath we draw.  What would our relationships look like if we searched for  small ways each day to submit to one another as an act of obedience and gratitude to our creator?  What kind of ripple effect would it have on the rest of my life if I started with my most intimate relationships, where I am safe in community with those God has placed in my life to walk alongside me in the faith? What if I could then be a glimmer of light even in single encounters with strangers I will never see again, in a world that is more desperate than ever for Jesus?

I pray for the wisdom to see opportunities for small sacrifices that will add up to some big changes!